New Morning

Its a new dawn, a new hope
I am filled with this immense sense of joy
The world looks new and the air vibrant
Light all around me amidst the cloudy skies


A new smile a new tear
Oh what has happened to me ?
Am I reborn again?
Am I seeing the unseen?


When the cold air strikes your heart
When the rain ignites passion in you
When the morning brings joy to you, is
When you realize the worlds still not a bad place . . . . . . . . .

Bliss of Childhood

My sister is busy rehearsing for her one woman theater performance to be launched shortly. I am providing music for the play. During the rehearsals i catch many glimpses of life from her dialogs . . . . one such dialog the protagonist says is,

oh balyave elli hode . in kannada . .

it means .. . oh childhood where did u vanish????

may be thats the question that bothers all of us!!! wasn't child hood and the innocence that engulfed a bliss? I miss being a child. Now the world is no longer an exiting or interesting place . . there are no dreams, there are no joys . . . there is only harsh reality and this reality consumes you onto itself. . . . .

here are glimpses from a childhood fantasy that my brother's son Amogh has . of being spiderman . . i wish life is as beautiful for him all way long . . . :)

NAMESAKE . . . . . . . . . . .

Ahhh there after a long time . . . ..

I recently watched this amazing movie and could not keep myself from writing about it. Sometimes you feel so small and diminished before the power of art. The value of art is in emulating a sense of finding something that has been lost. As a student of cinema and as a layman I had been lost in the search for something really substantial in the past few days. Well this movie got me back to my tracks . . . the movie I am talking about is

NAMESAKE

The winners of the movie :

Mira Nair for her amazing insight into pictorial portrayal of human emotions. Amazing shots and mind boggling imagery. The movie speaks more with the montage of images and less with the dialogues.

Tabu as usual for her wonderful and splendid performance. Her sensuous and very intriguing looks, and of course for her portrayal of the character in an almost error free performance.

Irfan Khan for his undoubtedly mature performance and immaculate timing and character adaptation.

Nikhiul Sahwni : for amazing music. The bits and pieces of Hamsadhwani in the Bhansuri leave you dumbfounded and the marriage of classy music, classy imagery and super classy acting, makes this movie a must watch for all sensible cinema buffs.

I just loved the movie way too much and still carry the scenes and performances with me today in my mind. It is when you realize the movie is really good. It plays on your mind more strongly even after a couple of days pass by.
Hats off . . . to NAMESAKE!!!

I just wanna be happy . . .

There are a thousand reasons for you to smile
A thousand more for you to cry
A thousand to live
Thousand more to die

Between the constant struggle of winning and loosing; living and wanting to die etc. you always look for one answer . . . .

What is the purpose of my existence???

You have a thousand dreams
A thousand more that shall be formed
You have a thousand failures
A thousand more yet to come

Between dreams and reality; failures and success you always search for one answer

Who am I ?

The answers to the questions are very simple and basic and yet would survive through the entire generation of human life cycle.

Simply because, these simple and basic facts rule the profoundness of human life. in our struggles and aspirations to win and loose, we always forget one thing . . . . and that is . .. . . are we happy???

If happiness is anything. . it is something within us . . . we have to find it and cherish it . . .live it and live for it . . . .

With happiness and lot of satisfaction. . Everything in this world looks small . . .

Everything I this world looks beautiful . . . .

Everything in the world is ruled by happiness. .

Some allow it to rule over them and some run away from it . . .

I have realized that being happy is simple . .

But it is the simplicity that people don’t understand. .

Nannu Paalimpa . . . .

Well I thought I should share some involved moments that I captured from my sirs concert recently.

I don’t know what it is, but it is a vivid experience every time you listen to sir. This time I was mesmerized with the Mohana that sir sang. It was very simple but yet so very elegant. I was thrilled at the depth that he reached and and the beauty he infused into that simplicity.

Here are a few glimpses of that memorable moment.

Pursuit Of HappYness!!

I just saw a movie that has left me transformed for life!! If anybody has to wonder, what a movie can do, this movie is something that they should watch!

I am talking about “The pursuit of happyness” . . .

I think it will be the most cherished movie of my life! There are some scenes and performances in this film that can touch you with an impact and profoundness that you cant even imagine with. The essence of the film is to survive! And surviving with a smile! No regrets, no sulking and no complaining; only surviving and winning!

What determination and willpower can do is what is portrayed in this film with class and meaning. Amazing performances and mind blowing script. This is a movie that I would want to cherish and savor for a long time!

We all sometimes loose ourselves inn the stifle and struggle of our egos. What we don’t do is thinking big and respecting our dreams. If we learn to honor our dreams and give our best to it, then there is nothing else in life but happiness.

It might be a career or a relationship, what one needs to do is genuinely involve oneself. There is nothing called winning and loosing, there is only growing. We should give our best at what ever we do and we will definitely seek happiness no matter what the consequences are.

Holding hands and taking a silent walk, hugging with intimacy, laughing for no reason . . . . all this with genuineness and involvement can give you bliss. But if half of you is involved in expectations of returns from what you do .. . . . . . . there will only be expectations and no happiness.

just for nags!!!

You have many questions and answers are few
You desperately seek the meaning of so many things around you
You have been left silence and words that never reach you
And yet you have so many blames put up against you

Sometimes I feel is this world fare enough?
Sometimes I feel like I have to pay for others mistake
Sometimes I feel like I have been put to treachery and test
Sometimes I just feel like I have been treated like a pest

You just want to open your eyes
And cry your heart out
Break into pieces
And screech your mind off
Burn your soul
And never ever desire again
Kill my self
And never be born again

Other times everything seems so trivial
You just want to smile
For reasons unknown
For opportunities yet to arrive
And laughter that will surpass all your agonies

LOVE

when true love hits you . . you only know to smile . . . .

i m back after a hectic and busy three week performing schedule .. . . life is good!!!

I am having a great time. I had earlier believed that love is all about "me and you" . . . . all about "fight and frowns" . . all about "ego and rights " . . .

but now i know . . when true love hits you you probably forget "you and me " and become a "us" . . . ."i and you" becomes "we" . . . . . and .. . . .

there is no testing, mind games, fighting, sulking and iritating . .

love is all about missing, finding, smiling and being in ecstatic joy . . . . . .

love is realising you can smile and feeling like you have heightned priorities in your life . . .

love is not wasting any opportunity and love is not a film story!!!

it is reality and in reality . ..... there can only be god and bliss . . . .

My new Look

Hey guys I got a new Geeky Look .. just to scare away all the fun mongers . .. "hey .. i m a geek . . . . . stay away . . and leave me in my world "

WHAT SAY ?????????

Glimpse

Glimpses from
Phalguns wedding and Vaadiraaja Arradhana for friends who couldn make it and are missing it badly in the US !!

arz kiya hein!

Muskaraa rahe hein hum jee bhar ke

Hume paagal na kabi samajhna

Paagal to ye zamaana hein

Jiska vajood hein rona aur rulana

coversing with the Sea

A couple of things that happened in my recent past left me stirred. A montage of unruly images kept hurling before my eyes as if to haunt me or assassinate my existence with the horrific realities. I was scared and I was freaked out. None of them I wanted to talk to spoke to me at that time. I was left alone in a dungeon of dark thoughts. I was perplexed with my condition. I wanted to run away and cry my heart out.

Where else would I go? To my friend. . ‘The Sea.’

I sat in my solitude looking at the sea with tears in my eyes. I concentrated on the silence. From within this silence the waves of the sea started speaking to me. We had a long conversation and here is the gist of those conversations;

Sea (s) and Me [m]

S: what are you doing in my shore crying and alone?

M: I am not sure, I am just confused and worried

S: about what? What are you worried about?

M: the things that have happened to me in the recent past; I don’t know what to make out of them?

S: what do you want to make out of those incidents?

M: I am not sure! I just don’t know what I want to make out of those things!

S: why are you upset then? What is it that you want?

M: I don’t want anything! Having al that I have is making me un happy

S: if you don’t want anything in reality, then you would be laughing with joy .. . it is because you want something that you are actually unhappy!

M: is it wrong to have desires?

S: no . . it is not bad to have desires . . . .but let the desires be desires and reality be reality

M: what is the reality?

S: ok! Let me explain! Do you see how all these people have arrived at my shore in the evening?

M: yes . . . . They want to view the sunset!

S: well it is their desire that they want to experience the beauty of sunset, the cascading interplay of colors and to feel the bliss and warmth of that sunset
M: yes

S: but their desire is devoid of the truth that the sun is never going to set . . . and my waters and the sky are never going to turn red.

Its just an illusion planed by nature

M: but if it gives them happiness. It is good!

S: yes, but it is momentary happiness. If they continue to feel the same bliss from me in the darkness of the night, in the shuddering wind storms and during high tide also, then theis desires are a worthy complement to my existence.

M: what are you trying to say?

S: if people desire your company only to fulfill their emptiness and do not stand by you when you are empty; they actually are encouraging you to feel a delusional bliss.

Remember that you and I are the same. Our life is nothing but a collection of waves sometimes high tide and sometimes low. We shimmer in the presence of brightness and turn melancholic during darkness. We don’t live for people who want to see a sunset and forget the reality behind it. We both share unknown depths that house the scariest abyss and the most precious of pearls. We are wavy on the outside but tormented from within. Both of us are unaware why we exist and what is our purpose. Both of us bleed in pain and converse in silence. Both of us are here to live till destiny pushes us away. Both of us are one.. Me and you. . .

Smile. . . .

When the stars shine and the moon is smiling at you, you are sitting alone in the corners of an unknown world staring at the commotion of life, you smile for a while. . .. . . .

You are walking back home after a busy day, lots pf work accomplished and feeling tired . . . . . . You pause for a second and smile for a while

You are busy composing tracks . . . . . singing songs . . . . Writing lyrics . . . . . you halt for a moment. . Sit in an unknown corner and smile for a while . . . .

You take a long moment of silence . . . . You catch a glimpse of his voice . . . and you smile for a while . . .

You write pages of data on your computer . . . rest back on the chair ... rub your eyes. . Stretch your body and . . . . . smile for a while . . . . .

I write this blog . . . . . wonder who all are reading it and smile for a while . . . .

Where were all these smiles before I saw you???

Well who cares???? In am just glad I am smiling . . .

Why am I smiling . . . . . who cares . . . . . it is enough that I am just smiling . . . . .

Hold on . . . . . are you smiling too????

Diffused . ... .

we all are alive

we all are in love

we all strive for life

we all fight battles

we all win

we all loose

we all give up

we all die

basically we all are diffused

Thats my new art work . .. DIFFUSION . . . .

LOVE . . . . . hmmmmmmm

I was listening to the best music ever made till date today evening. A. R. Rehman’s music for the film WATER. It is outstanding and scintillating. I was moved to tears just with the quality of the inherent embodiment of love in his music. If true art had another name it would be Rehman! I was just lost at the mystic power that set the undertone for his compositional style and excellence. He is definitely a miracle and his mind is an industry par excellence. An institution himself, rehman strums the melodies by pulling the strings of your heart.

Lost in his music, I was just wondering about some issues. I was highly prejudiced against infatuations like Love at First sight and all that. I was always a believer of head over heart kind a guy. But now I totally dismiss my theory and respect that virtue that is a blessing only few retain. In spite of all the hardships that you encounter and all the meaninglessness you derive out of love, you still unknowingly give away your self to someone you just saw once.

You begin to feel you have known that person since ages and you also realize that love and god are nothing but one; when you are around this person. You unknowingly shed tears in his memory and unknowingly smile all the time. The sky invites you to take a flight and the cool breeze gives you a sense of bliss. You are mesmerized by just a thought of that person and your body craves to seek his closeness. A hug or just a few seconds of togetherness, you feel like you are a part of this amazing poetry the author, title and subject of which is unknown.

What else . . . . . if you even respect that person . . .. Then three is nothing else that can make it more beautiful. Your love now becomes devotion and that devotion is a virtue that can cleanse you and your soul. This is nothing but the experience of love that is true and that is beyond the inhibitions of time and space.

Fantastic Day

Today has been specifically a great day because of two main things.

1. I saw this amazing film called HONEY MOON EXPRESS. A tremondously creative narration with the most immaculative performances. Love and its different perspectives are symbolically hihglighted very beautifully. Shabana Azmi, Boman Irani and Sandhya Mrudul rock. Outstandingly meaningful and exhuberant. I am completely Bowled. I am just glad that Indian Cinema is evolving day by day.

2. The most important reason is that I met somebody very special. I cannot stop appreciating people who value principles and who still believe in being gentle and genuine. In this highly mechanical life where everybody is running behind money and sex . . . . . here emerged a super special being who is breaking his head over rising funds for charity. Gosh . .when you meet such people occasionally you are reminded and forced to believe that there is some goodness left in this world and God exists . . . ofcourse within these people. I havent come across such sincerity, values, generosity, good heartedness and genuine nature in any human being in the recent past.

Kudos to you dude!

P.S. I will be surely besides you for anything that you do and will be there for you as a helping hand. What I can do in my limits i will do without thinking twice.

Keep up the good work and keep smiling .. because this world needs people like you.

Sunday Concert

My concert today went pretty well at Vijaynagar Sangeeth Sabha . .

Here is the list :

1. Natakurunji Varnam
2. Vinayaka ninnu – Hamsadhwani – adi – Veena Kuppiyer
3. Raaga Sudhaa Rasa – Aandholika – Adi – Tyagaraja (raaga)
4. Purvi kalyani raga
5. Jnana mosagarada – roopaka – tyaagaraja – (nireval swara at paramaatmudu jeevatmudu)
6. Ekamresha Nayike – Karnataka Shuddha Saveri – Dikshitar
7. Todi Raaga
8. Gajavadana – Adi – Kumara Ettiyendra – (nireval swara at Vasudha)
9. tani
10. Devara namas (a host of them) – ugabhoga in kapi and sindhu bhairavi
11. Vasanta Tillana
12. Mangalam

Capturing Moments

Saturday and Fun again in Bangalore . ..

I took some pictures of Archana (mah best boy friend!!!) at her house before leaving for our outing. She was getting ready at her table and i just sneaked in and encouraged her for some make up. she was sweet enough to try every makeup trick that i asked her to do . . and awesome results . . . the chinky aunty from my previous blog now looks like this . .!!!!!!

Next two pictures are the ones Archana clicked when i was almost in orgasmic ecstacy and silence when i enjoyed this wonderful cheese cake . . . . full of cheese, jam and cookies . . yummmmmmmmmy to the core . . . .

Love Song

Traveling again . . . . My mind just takes impossible fleets during traveling. Just the movements of visuals make traveling such a wonderful and dramatic for an experience. I must confess, the best of thoughts and creative inputs come to me while traveling. Traveling feels spiritual, deep and inspirational.

I sat next to the window watching a fire in the darkness form the moving train. The soft wind spoke to my ears and at a distance of my imaginary universe I saw something magical. I scribbled it down on my notepad even before I realized I had done it.

So here it is, the scribbled memoir of a train dream..

They look into each other
And indulge in an act of love
Whilst the rhythm of their warn breath
Compose their song

Their bodies come closer
Like their had souls had merged before
Beyond dimensions they stand
Mesmerized for long

A smile here and a tear there
The joy that surmounts bliss
A frown here and a giggle there
Infinite passion holding em strong

Conversing in a language
In a grammar called romance
They engulf in unison
Unto each other they now belong

The flame is on and the fire’s burning
In the redness they are deemed one
Immersed in an erotic salvation
They caress in silence for long long long . .

LOVE STORY

He fell in love amidst the haziness and loneliness that had engulfed his life. He met that person and unknowingly he felt he had known him for ages. He enjoyed that feeling and opened up to the person. Before he knew anything he was in love. He enjoyed every bit of attention that he received and also felt the bliss of togetherness when and around that person. His mind would dance at that name and his lips would stretch into a smile at the very thought of that person.

He expressed what he thought was evident, his love for this amiable creature! But, that is when love played its first dirty game with this man. All that was positive vanished into negativity, all that was in color merged into black and all that danced to the zephyr of love broke into pieces. A mere wording or legitimate expression of love ruined what was a reality. Now it has to be referred to as a dream. To grow beyond this was the obvious!

His love for that person did not change at that . . . after all it was LOVE!! How could it change? After a while, the other person seemed to drift further away into a distance that was unknown. It could be referred to as the Abyss. The light couldn’t reach that darkness and the sound couldn’t touch his senses at that depth of separation.

The distance induced pain, pain that was excruciating, insatiable and totally insensitive. His love was put to test, his love was being evaluated and his love was measured and perceived and observed. He realized it had gone too far! If his love is being put through all of it, it is best preferred for his love to lay within the depths of his heart, in a unknown abyss of its own and to glow within him and light his persona with the warmth of godliness.

Days passed, his love continued to glow and cherish within himself, unto himself. It wouldn’t perish, after all it was LOVE!

He is happy he protected his love from being tested, being played with and being hurt from. He shall survive with that love within him, warming his soul and protecting him from the viciousness of life and unruliness of people.

After all, it is LOVE . .. it will never die!!!