gazed into eternity

To the eyes that have never been

To the “I” that has died away

To the “US” that faded out

To the “love” that was dead and gone!

He wrote on a piece of paper and gazed it for hours. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he gazed into infinity. He had many reasons and many answers, but all of them seemed too meager before a few big questions. Questions that could kill him and devastate him from within. Every moment seemed like a never ending tryst with destiny.

When it began life was full of roses and color. Every moment seemed important and precious. Dressing was such an elaborate exercise and he had to look good no matter what! He spent hours deciding the colors to wear and the lines to recite in the meetings. He wanted to look smart but yet grounded and firm. He wanted to project a class and show some élan with which he would conduct himself. Life looked so beautiful and meaningful, so fresh and real.

Months passed by and they shared an unmatched compatibility. Every single word that was uttered was like honey and smelled like perfumes. Every smile looked seductive and cozy. Every silence sounded so musical. Their bodies mingled into one another and every touch seemed like paradise. There were moments of desperate confusions too . . . . is this love? Is this too much? Too less? Ignorance? Arrogance? Purposeful? Arbitrary? Meaningful? Etc. All the questions remained unanswered and life still seemed meaningful.

But what happened now? Why this distance? Why this hatred and where does all the irritation come from? He was shocked and paranoid! What was once so True and valuable now seemed meaningless. All the laughter had turned into pain and all the light into darkness. Is it wrong to fall in love?

What is love he thought? Does love have any meaning? He gazed into darkness now for hours together. He realized that he was alone. He looked through the darkness and felt a wave of water splash at him!

It was the dream of a sea he had seen!!!

He son realized love is like a sea, deep, mysterious yet turbulent on the surface. Shimmering on the surface and dark within. Life on the banks and death within.

What an illusion he thought! How did I fall into it?

He read the few lines he had written again . . . . .

To the eyes that have never been – because it was what he wanted to see that he saw and not what has been . .. .

To the “I” that has died away – change and metamorphosis that love has induced into his personality

To the “US” that faded out – the dreams and questions remain mysterious

To the “love” that was dead and gone! – for now there is only pain and resentment

n - - - - - - - ---- - - - - --

He looked into the mirror and cried like a baby. Washed his face and wiped it towel dry. He shred his clothes and walked to the terrace of the building. Closed his eyes and took a deep breath . . . . .

People were walking on the road and saw a man falling from the ceiling. Before any medical supply could arrive he closed his eyes into eternity.

All was over . . . . . . .. . … . Only darkness shall remain . . . for ever and ever . . .