DEDICATED TO MEERA . . THE SAINT THINKER WHO FIRST INSPIRED ME TO LOVE SOMEBODY WITH ALL YOUR SOUL . . . .
This is just for me to look at what love means to me. I am sure you have already thought I have written enough on this, but I have not. I actually want to put it all out and in that way I think I can at least affirmatively conceptualize what is within my mind. I don’t want to be confused and leave others confused because of the ways in which I display my emotions. It is better that I share with the world, what I think and that way I get different perspectives of what I want.
If I don’t express myself now, I think I will never ever, and I don’t want that to happen at any cost. My understanding of love has been shaped, since I have been a kid. My past has shaped me but has not filled me. I don’t allow my past to leave me hollow either. It blends in a mixture that is unknown and non perceivable.
“My house says to me, “don’t leave me, for here dwells your past”.
And the road says to me, ‘come and follow me, for I am your future.
And I say to both my house and the road; I have neither past nor future. If I stay here, there is a going in my staying; and if I go there is a staying in my going. Only love and death change all things.”
I have never had intimacy with ‘people’ throughout my life. What I seek is to know what is inside a person. I relate to his soul and not his mind. I cannot ever love somebody for making them only mine. I can love a person because he belongs to so many things and because he can let go most of it for my sake. Not let go of those things for ever, but for only that time, which he spends with me. That will suffice and that is what I look for.
I could never relate to my father all my life and that has left a void in me. I have issues with trusting and easily forgiving people for betraying me too. It has become a habit. But now I am alone and will continue to flourish, in my loneliness. I am not available for anybody and neither do I seek anybody. All I want is happiness all the way and no regrets.
My loneliness was born when people praised my talkative faults
And blamed my silent virtues
I have seen a lot of troubled relationships, have been in them and also have suffered enough! But all this happens because of lack of proper understanding and lack of communication.
So what does love actually mean to me? Well it has many facets.
First of all, I am predominantly an asexual thinker and person! I cannot relate to sex and its presence in a relationship reduces it to too much of vulnerability. I cannot sexually be attracted to any person physically, and on some occasions if I am, it will last only for a few seconds and I will be out of it immediately. I cannot relate to the body, but only to the soul.
In love, I just wan to be pampered and feel the happiness between two souls. I want to cuddle up with the inner self of the person and hug his soul tight. I want our souls to talk to each other and not our bodies. I want to forget all past, future and live only in the present. I want love to leave scars in my heart and not in my neck or body. I want love to make me feel human that’s all.
I cannot relate to love, as many others do. For me love is very different. Love is heightened friendship. Love is a discussion forum on which we discuss on life and its sciences. I don’t even want my loved one to be bonded with me. My loved one is free to pursue other relationships but, when with me to be genuinely mine that’s all. Love should be of mutual respect and understanding. Love should be holding hands over a walk, smiling at each other for no reason, talking to each other without thinking, crying for each other without haste, being there for each other for the sake of it, longing for each others company so that we can discuss the world inside out, pampering each other and feeling good, not hurting any one and letting things be as they are!
Love for me, is beyond commitment, relationships or marriages!!! Love is a way of life. Next time I have just read the most beautiful phrase in the world . . . I just want to read it out to my love. For me love is just sharing, not giving or taking. Love is not kissing . . . .love is not hugging . . . .love is just smiling with soulful joy . . . .
Love is like meera had loved Krishna . . . love is what shabari had for raama . . .love is what a child has for his father . . . . . . its just that I m not meera, Krishna, rama, shabari, child or a father . . . . m just love hidden in all of them!!!
You are blind and I am deaf and dumb.
So let us touch hands and understand
The reality of me is not what I reveal to you
But what I cannot reveal to you
You would understand me only if you listen
To what I do not say and not what I say
Half of what I say is meaningless
But I say it so that the other half may Reach you!!!
The voice of life in me
Cannot reach the ear of life in you
But lets talk so that we may not feel lonely . . . . .
If I don’t express myself now, I think I will never ever, and I don’t want that to happen at any cost. My understanding of love has been shaped, since I have been a kid. My past has shaped me but has not filled me. I don’t allow my past to leave me hollow either. It blends in a mixture that is unknown and non perceivable.
“My house says to me, “don’t leave me, for here dwells your past”.
And the road says to me, ‘come and follow me, for I am your future.
And I say to both my house and the road; I have neither past nor future. If I stay here, there is a going in my staying; and if I go there is a staying in my going. Only love and death change all things.”
I have never had intimacy with ‘people’ throughout my life. What I seek is to know what is inside a person. I relate to his soul and not his mind. I cannot ever love somebody for making them only mine. I can love a person because he belongs to so many things and because he can let go most of it for my sake. Not let go of those things for ever, but for only that time, which he spends with me. That will suffice and that is what I look for.
I could never relate to my father all my life and that has left a void in me. I have issues with trusting and easily forgiving people for betraying me too. It has become a habit. But now I am alone and will continue to flourish, in my loneliness. I am not available for anybody and neither do I seek anybody. All I want is happiness all the way and no regrets.
My loneliness was born when people praised my talkative faults
And blamed my silent virtues
I have seen a lot of troubled relationships, have been in them and also have suffered enough! But all this happens because of lack of proper understanding and lack of communication.
So what does love actually mean to me? Well it has many facets.
First of all, I am predominantly an asexual thinker and person! I cannot relate to sex and its presence in a relationship reduces it to too much of vulnerability. I cannot sexually be attracted to any person physically, and on some occasions if I am, it will last only for a few seconds and I will be out of it immediately. I cannot relate to the body, but only to the soul.
In love, I just wan to be pampered and feel the happiness between two souls. I want to cuddle up with the inner self of the person and hug his soul tight. I want our souls to talk to each other and not our bodies. I want to forget all past, future and live only in the present. I want love to leave scars in my heart and not in my neck or body. I want love to make me feel human that’s all.
I cannot relate to love, as many others do. For me love is very different. Love is heightened friendship. Love is a discussion forum on which we discuss on life and its sciences. I don’t even want my loved one to be bonded with me. My loved one is free to pursue other relationships but, when with me to be genuinely mine that’s all. Love should be of mutual respect and understanding. Love should be holding hands over a walk, smiling at each other for no reason, talking to each other without thinking, crying for each other without haste, being there for each other for the sake of it, longing for each others company so that we can discuss the world inside out, pampering each other and feeling good, not hurting any one and letting things be as they are!
Love for me, is beyond commitment, relationships or marriages!!! Love is a way of life. Next time I have just read the most beautiful phrase in the world . . . I just want to read it out to my love. For me love is just sharing, not giving or taking. Love is not kissing . . . .love is not hugging . . . .love is just smiling with soulful joy . . . .
Love is like meera had loved Krishna . . . love is what shabari had for raama . . .love is what a child has for his father . . . . . . its just that I m not meera, Krishna, rama, shabari, child or a father . . . . m just love hidden in all of them!!!
You are blind and I am deaf and dumb.
So let us touch hands and understand
The reality of me is not what I reveal to you
But what I cannot reveal to you
You would understand me only if you listen
To what I do not say and not what I say
Half of what I say is meaningless
But I say it so that the other half may Reach you!!!
The voice of life in me
Cannot reach the ear of life in you
But lets talk so that we may not feel lonely . . . . .
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