Cheers to freedom

To the eyes that gaze at me

From the distance...

The love in them is unbearable

Oh, so much that I cannot stand it

Your life seems to blend in me

With an obscurity that is silent

Your glance can pierce through my body

Like a sword that propels

Your words seem to holler

In circles infinite

Your smiles seem to hover upon

My innocent mind

Oh life, thou art my deepest emotion

But aren’t thou an illusion?

Hey you, what is thy name?

Maaya is it not??

Well I shall not seek thee

And shall always be free, free , free

gazed into eternity

To the eyes that have never been

To the “I” that has died away

To the “US” that faded out

To the “love” that was dead and gone!

He wrote on a piece of paper and gazed it for hours. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he gazed into infinity. He had many reasons and many answers, but all of them seemed too meager before a few big questions. Questions that could kill him and devastate him from within. Every moment seemed like a never ending tryst with destiny.

When it began life was full of roses and color. Every moment seemed important and precious. Dressing was such an elaborate exercise and he had to look good no matter what! He spent hours deciding the colors to wear and the lines to recite in the meetings. He wanted to look smart but yet grounded and firm. He wanted to project a class and show some élan with which he would conduct himself. Life looked so beautiful and meaningful, so fresh and real.

Months passed by and they shared an unmatched compatibility. Every single word that was uttered was like honey and smelled like perfumes. Every smile looked seductive and cozy. Every silence sounded so musical. Their bodies mingled into one another and every touch seemed like paradise. There were moments of desperate confusions too . . . . is this love? Is this too much? Too less? Ignorance? Arrogance? Purposeful? Arbitrary? Meaningful? Etc. All the questions remained unanswered and life still seemed meaningful.

But what happened now? Why this distance? Why this hatred and where does all the irritation come from? He was shocked and paranoid! What was once so True and valuable now seemed meaningless. All the laughter had turned into pain and all the light into darkness. Is it wrong to fall in love?

What is love he thought? Does love have any meaning? He gazed into darkness now for hours together. He realized that he was alone. He looked through the darkness and felt a wave of water splash at him!

It was the dream of a sea he had seen!!!

He son realized love is like a sea, deep, mysterious yet turbulent on the surface. Shimmering on the surface and dark within. Life on the banks and death within.

What an illusion he thought! How did I fall into it?

He read the few lines he had written again . . . . .

To the eyes that have never been – because it was what he wanted to see that he saw and not what has been . .. .

To the “I” that has died away – change and metamorphosis that love has induced into his personality

To the “US” that faded out – the dreams and questions remain mysterious

To the “love” that was dead and gone! – for now there is only pain and resentment

n - - - - - - - ---- - - - - --

He looked into the mirror and cried like a baby. Washed his face and wiped it towel dry. He shred his clothes and walked to the terrace of the building. Closed his eyes and took a deep breath . . . . .

People were walking on the road and saw a man falling from the ceiling. Before any medical supply could arrive he closed his eyes into eternity.

All was over . . . . . . .. . … . Only darkness shall remain . . . for ever and ever . . .

VICKZ KI GOLI LO.. KICH KICH DUR KARO

Well this will be an extended feature from my older series “ODE TO FRIENDSHIP” ….

What do you call a man who is lost in his fantasies, but is yet rooted firmly to the ground? A man who is constantly fighting his tryst with destiny and yet is still a child? A man who is lost in life but has always caught hold of himself? A man who searches for meanings in everything and is yet unaware of his own meaningfulness?

I call him a friend!!

A friend who has been and who will be!

A friend who has seen and who shall see!

Vikram! Is a name I always recall with a smile! He is a strange mixture of opposites. His concoction of madness and innocence engulfs me in its fantasy, a fantasy that I look for and a fantasy that I enjoy.

As friends we have an amazing connection, I can sense when he needs me and when he doesn’t and he same goes for him. I have seen him blossom into something commendable and stable. I am very happy for him and hope he carves a niche for himself.

Its always said that u hardly remember achievers!! You always remember people who you love and when I have the time to sit back and recall people I love and long to be with, your innocent face and an inquisitive set of thousand questions will always etch an influence on me. . . . Here’s to Vikram! One of the entities I love to posses and one of those treasures that make me feel special!

i dont know .. how to name it?

It was very noisy and crowded; they sat facing each other in silence and looked into each others eyes with smiles. They had loads to speak and loads to express, but all that was running in their mind was that they needed to get out of this place. Weekends always witness a fully crowded ambiance where ever you go, so they decided not to go to any conventional place. They just decided to walk in the silent residential lanes of the city. They set out on this night walk . . . .

The night was very romantic. The full moon subtly radiated and aura of warmth through the darkness of the cold night. The zephyr was lilting and dancing through the spaces. They walked for a while talking about so many things that both don’t probably even remember today, simply because what was said was what was “not to be” and what was not said was what was “to be”. They walked slowly down the lane in silence after some while, breathing heavily and in anxiety. One of them clasped the hand of the other suddenly; there was a streaming rush of warmth throughout their bodies and they came closer to each other. Their bodies mingled with each other with a magical bliss and they caressed each other to the depths of their souls. They walked slowly and stood for a while, looked into each other with tears in their eyes. They hugged each other tightly and kissed each other with a passion that cannot be spoken for.

They hoped that the night ran into eternity, but practicality had its due course to play. They decided that they have to leave to their houses. They part with great difficulty.

Why do people meet? Why do they part?

What is love .. of life. . what is thou art?

What is passion? What is pain?

What is reason? What is insane?

What is happiness and what is joy?

When all I can think of is you and I!

Why do I feel you next to me?

What was it that had bonded us?

That warmth still caresses my heart!
My body and soul still tremble for thee!

The distance between us and the differences ruled upon us

For togetherness and love was not meant to be

I know we are different and never again bonded together

Because I am alone and alone shall I be

What was it that had brought us to oneness and joy?

Was it meant TO BE OR NOT TO BE??

Many alien questions still dawn upon them now and then and later fade away into the abyss of regularity. They smile for each other and cry sometimes too, but will never love one another the way they did once!

The evening has set and there is cool breeze . . . . . . . its drizzling too in an unknown yet soft rhythm .. . . . tears just drop from the inner eye . . . . and in this moment of loneliness and emptiness there is a strong dance of love . . . . . . . like the flames of the candle dance to the wind, in the solitude of darkness .. to the rhythm of silence . . to the reality that prevails always.. to be or not to be . . .